


you don't have to say nothing

by newct127



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Epiphanies, Established Relationship, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Not Beta Read, One Shot, Realization, i'm the worst at tagging i'm sorry, realizashun luv
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 18:54:00
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,301
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27151391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/newct127/pseuds/newct127
Summary: The words sit like a lump in his throat and it starts to get uncomfortable. It starts to itch. Now that he knows it, he has to say it.It’s arguably the worst timing for this to happen.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Kim Dongyoung | Doyoung
Comments: 22
Kudos: 138





	you don't have to say nothing

**Author's Note:**

> this was a spur of the moment thing  
> dedicated to fiona
> 
> title from adore you by harry styles

Jaehyun likes this part of the job, the mandatory hair and makeup appointment before every performance. It’s calming in a way, it’s the last thing to do before going out on stage, and once the performance is done, there’s nothing else to do, really. All he can do is sit there and anticipate the end. This part is out of his control.

The dressing room they’re in tonight is huge, fitting all seven of them for hair and makeup, and allowing enough space for the stylists to style and the managers to manage. It’s well lit too. The bright white light is blinding the moment you come inside the dressing room from the dark hallway, Jaehyun always needs a few moments to adjust to it.

This is the part of the night when they’re most relaxed. There’s no pressure yet. They’re antsy and excited on the car ride over to the studio. After the performance they’re riding on the high of it, adrenaline coursing through their veins. Exhaustion strikes on the drive back to the dorms.

This, right here, this is the calm before the storm of emotions that he’s never going to get under control.

Jaehyun looks up from his phone and at the mirror in front of him. He looks past his own expression and at the reflection from the one behind him. He looks at the members here, feeling so lucky that he has them.

On his right Xiaojun and Shotaro are making conversation in tiny and cute. Their calm voices are barely audible from where Jaehyun is sitting, but they’re both smiling wide smiles. It’s good to see them that way before the countdown to the moment they go on stage begins, and their nerves set in.

Taeyong sits between them, mostly focused on his phone, occasionally looking up to add to their conversation. He looks calm and collected too. He changed so much in the last few months, the SuperM hyungs being nothing but positive influence and making him so much more confident. Even in the lowest of moments, when life strikes, he looks at the positives first, now more than ever. Jaehyun’s so grateful to have Taeyong in his life.

Behind them, Jaemin and Lucas are cracking jokes in an attempt to see who has the lamest one. Their back and forth started back when they were in the van, and if it was up to Jaehyun, he would’ve declared Jaemin the winner an hour ago. But who is he to judge? It's their competition.

And then there’s Doyoung.

Scrolling through his phone, clueless to the attention he’s receiving.

There is no actual way for Jaehyun to track down the exact moment when he knew he liked Doyoung as more than a friend. Saying it was the moment they first met would be both an over and an understatement. Jaehyun didn’t realize until years later. At the same time it felt like it was something that lasted a lifetime, not something that started a few years back.

To Jaehyun, it feels like there has never been anyone else, and there never will be anyone else.

They started dating at the beginning of the summer, as a heat wave was hitting Seoul. Jaehyun was sleep deprived, maybe even dehydrated, but he felt particularly brave that day. He amped himself up on the drive home after a very long gym session, then he marched to Doyoung’s room and asked him out on a date. A now or never moment. For Doyoung it was now.

The same confidence left Jaehyun quickly. Doyoung is close with everyone in NCT, while he can’t say the same about himself. Doyoung is also open with everyone in NCT, while Jaehyun likes to keep some things to himself.

It’s not like them dating is a secret, everyone knows. Most importantly, Taeyong knows. Taeyong, who Jaehyun loves and cherishes, and who he is jealous of for his friendship with Doyoung. He was the first to know, and that was before the matching rings became public knowledge and fans freaked out on Twitter, which sent Jaehyun down another spiral of jealousy that he had to keep to himself more than ever.

Fans don’t know about the necklace that Jaehyun got, and how Doyoung has a matching one, and how the two pendants make one entire one when put together. They are each other’s ‘other half’, Doyoung said exactly that when he showed him the photos and made the plans to get them. He wishes he could show the fans what he got as well.

He doesn’t like being that person, he hates being jealous because of what someone else thinks, so he tries to focus on the fact that at the end of the day, Doyoung still is dating him. He still comes back to him. He doesn’t need to get possessive because Doyoung is more possessive than he will ever be. He drags him away for alone time. He gives stern looks whenever Jaehyun engages in conversation with someone while he wants attention.

Doyoung makes him question everything about their relationship and he makes him confident at the same time.

He looks at Doyoung, not being able to look away, really, and he stops himself from cursing after the stylists working around him because they obstruct his view. Looking at Doyoung and the peaceful expression on his face, focused on something on his phone that he’ll probably tell everyone about later, Jaehyun gets butterflies in his stomach.

Doyoung’s passionate, he’s driven, and there’s nothing he can’t do once he puts his mind to it. He’s careful and patient with everyone, he’s understanding. He makes Jaehyun feel soft and small. They’ll be lying in bed, talking about their days and laughing about something, and Doyoung will proudly poke a finger in his dimples and Jaehyun’s eyes will tear up because it’s theirs and it’s intimate, and it’s the exact closeness that Jaehyun wants.

He feels like he belongs. He feels many things. Wanted. Loved. Doyoung makes him feel like he’s a teenager again, with reckless thoughts, jitters and impulses. He makes him want to be better too, not because Jaehyun feels like he’s not good enough but because Doyoung deserves the best. So he needs to be the best.

The butterflies never go away. They only swim up and become a warm feeling in his chest. He has nothing but fondness for Doyoung. Nothing but love…

 _Love_.

That’s a word that Jaehyun has never said before. He’s never felt it the way he does right now. It’s not what he expected it to be, this is so much more.

_Oh._

He didn’t notice it by now. He didn’t realize that that’s what this thing was. He’s such a silly boy who thought love took longer than this to form.

He realizes it, and it once again feels like it’s nothing new. Just like when he realized he liked Doyoung, he now realizes he’s in love and it’s like it’s always been there. This didn’t start, this was already happening.

The words sit like a lump in his throat and it starts to get uncomfortable. It starts to itch. Now that he knows it, he has to say it.

It’s arguably the worst timing for this to happen.

They have no privacy here, and he can’t really spring it onto Doyoung the next moment they’ll have to themselves which is right before they go on stage. He can’t keep quiet about it either. He has to say it.

He looks down at his phone again, he quickly pulls up Doyoung’s contact and he texts him.

 _Doie  
_ _Can I tell you something important?  
_ _Promise not to freak out_

Jaehyun checks that the stylists aren’t looking at his phone as he waits for Doyoung’s reply.

 _Don’t say it like that it sounds scary  
_ _Tell me though_

_I love you_

_Are you kidding me?_

_No  
_ _I don’t kid about this  
_ _I'm in love with you_

 _Jaehyun  
_ _Fuck you_

 _I mean sure_ _  
_ _But why fuck me?  
You don't have to say it back  
I just need you to know _

_Over text?  
_ _Really?  
_ _And couldn’t this wait until we got home?_

 _It couldn’t  
_ _I had to say it, or I'_ _m gonna burst_

 _You know what  
_ _I won’t believe you until you say it to my face  
_ _Say it  
_ _What are you afraid of???_  
 _We know everyone here_  
 _Everyone here knows_

It prompts Jaehyun to look up from his phone and he starts to watch Doyoung who is still focused on his own. He meant what he said right? Then why isn’t he looking up, why isn’t he already expecting it. Does he think Jaehyun won't actually do it?

“Doyoungie!” he calls out. He acts innocent about it with his tone of voice.

“Hmm?” Doyoung copies his tone, but he doesn’t look up yet. Jaehyun wonders if he’s teasing him now. He must know what’s going to happen, why he’s asking for his attention.

“Doie?” he calls out again, his plea causing the older to finally look up.

They stare at each other through the mirror for a moment. Doyoung raises an eyebrow at him, a daring smile across his lips. He’s striking him right in his competitive side by making it a challenge. A challenge that Jaehyun has to partake in.

He wanted to do it. Now he has to do it.

They stare at each other through the mirror. Doyoung is hypnotizing, the light in his eyes is enough for Jaehyun to melt.

“Yeah Jae?” He smirks knowingly at Jaehyun when he realizes what follows, anticipating it.

Jaehyun sucks in a breath, steadying himself. He can’t believe he’s here. And he can’t believe it’s so easy to day it, despite them being in a room that’s frankly over crowded. Despite managers and staff.

It’s so easy to say it. So hard at the same time.

“I’m in love with you,” he announces, keeping his eyes on the image of Doyoung in the mirror.

The room goes silent when Jaehyun confesses. The stylists stop, the managers look over. The members all turn their attention to Doyoung, expecting. This is the last think any of them thought would happen today. This is the last thing Jaehyun thought would happen today.

It’s tense. The members, the staff in the room, they’re all stuck in the middle of this conversation, and no one knows how to react. Jaehyun doesn’t know what to do either. He can only wait for Doyoung to say something in return.

The slight feeling of embarrassment sets in and grows ever with every second that Doyoung keeps him waiting. His breathing grows heavy, his heart beating so strongly that it echoes in his entire chest. It feels like it might jump out. His hands get sweaty and he starts to fidget slightly. It seems like time has slowed down. And all the while Doyoung lets him wait.

He blushes so hard he turns red. Jaehyun doesn’t need to look at himself in the mirror, he can feel the heat on his skin.

Can’t this just happen already?

“I’m in love with you too,” Doyoung responds, his smile softening into a genuine one while everyone else remains speechless. Jaehyun smiles back at him, the weight finally lifted off his shoulders. It’s only then that Jaehyun notices that the rest of the room has started breathing. “Noona, I’m sorry, I’m going to mess up my lipstick,” Doyoung says to the makeup artist before he gets out of the chair. He closes the space between them quickly. Jaehyun isn’t sure if he should get up too, and it turns out that he can’t. The noona is adamant to keep working on his hair, but she does turn his chair around so he can come face to face with Doyoung. “You are adorable,” Doyoung states, poking a finger in one of his dimples, which Doyoung loves to do. He leans down next and places a lingering kiss on Jaehyun’s lips. Jaehyun can hear commotion from himself, and he’ll swear he hears Taeyong squick in the way he does whenever he’s happy.

“I love you,” Jaehyun whispers it this time, making the moment feel slightly more intimate than it can be. He wants Doyoung to remember it, he wants to make it significant because of how impersonal it actually is. Doyoung was right just moments ago, he should’ve waited until they were at home. When it’s just them, and it’s no one else’s business. But Jaehyun was right too. This really couldn’t wait, and it shouldn’t. Doyoung needs to know. Everyone needs to know too, if this is the way for him to get that out, then so be it. Will there be consequences because he’s doing this in front of staff with NDAs and managers who think they’re just messing around and not actually dating? Maybe there will be consequences. They will definitely get yelled at for being reckless like this. But then so be it too.

He’s too happy to care.

“I love you too,” Doyoung returns, smiling back at him. He’s perfect. So perfect. How did Jaehyun get so lucky? “Later, okay?”

“Okay.”

Another short peck on the lips, and Doyoung walks back to his chair so the stylists can keep working. The stylist working on his hair turns him back towards the mirror, and he sees the members smiling at him, happy facial expressions now covering the shock that was initially there.

Taeyong meets his eyes and gives him a wink.

Within a minute everything goes back to normal. It’s like nothing is changed.

And it isn’t. It’s only more meaningful now. He and Doyoung know it. They look at each other through the mirror once again, and their smiles grow.

It’s so easy to be in love with Doyoung.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!!
> 
> you can also find me here: [twt](https://twitter.com/newct127) | [cc](https://curiouscat.qa/newct127)


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